Why have a big family?

Monday, January 19th, 2009


I recently attended a family playgroup and one of the topics of discussion was "how do you know you are done having kids" or "how did you decide to have the number of kids you do"? Phil and I have occasionally gotten comments about how we must be insane to have 4 kids and are often asked how we manage. My least favourite comment from random people is "I would never have 4 children!", or people assuming things about us because of the number of kids we have (no, we are not Catholic, Mormon, or on welfare).

So, I started wondering maybe we are crazy, how do we manage, what were we thinking. But then I started analyzing our reasons and came to this conclusion: We do not have 4 children, we have (or will soon have) 4 people. Those people are currently children and they drive us insane, make us laugh hysterically, show us the wonder of living everyday, make us compromise our dreams for theirs, frustrate and amaze us, but they will not be children forever. We did not go into this to have 4 children - we wanted a family. We want to watch these people grow from infants to children to teens to adults. We want to join them on their journey, help them through the hard time, share in the good times, see them fall in love, marry and have their own families if that is what they choose. Help them find their passion in life, whatever that may be.

So when people make comments about my large family, I pull up a mental picture of what I want my life to be like and in my mind I envision a holiday meal, food piled up on an extra large table, Phil and I sitting surrounded by the sound of children's laughter, seeing the kids' faces (as I imagine them all grown up) and the faces of their loved ones.

And that is why I have chosen to have a large family.